Weakday Roundup: #HulkVsGawk, #MarchMadness, #SCOTUS & more

If you know SparkNotes contributors better than the titans of American Literature and your Excel proficiency has a direct correlation with your Google search skills and Mr. Excel premium...

If you know SparkNotes contributors better than the titans of American Literature and your Excel proficiency has a direct correlation with your Google search skills and Mr. Excel premium account, you’ve made your peace with “just getting by.” Now there’s a way for you to cheat your way through the Interwebs, too. A website that was born out of a steamy one night stand between Google Maps and your Social Media accounts. Meet Speke.co.

And boy am I happy that this location driven social media aggregating offspring didn’t become a Silicon Valley dumpster baby. Think of a social media aggregator as an all you can eat buffet for the internet, where the on-par-with-Taco Bell Mexican food is the best of Twitter, the Olive Garden-esque Italian is what’s trending on Instagram and the slightly-better-than-a-gas-station sushi is the front page of Reddit. This all you can eat social media smorgasbord does the dirty work for you and let’s you know what all the popular kids are talking about around the world at any moment, including trending news, Instagram, Reddit, Twitter and Vine posts.

Some sweet features:

  • Bring back your AIM days by following live streams and chatting about trending topics
  • Use the map to see whats trending around the world at any moment
  • Find out WHY things are trending, using the News tab (just click on a trend or hashtag)

 

Our selfless dedication to our readers is never done. We’ve aggregated the best trends, topics and stories from the best aggregator on the web for your viewing pleasure (and Monday morning water cooler talk):

#GetMillennialsToVotein5words. To nobodies surprise Bernie Sanders doesn’t understand there is a character limit when creating the longest hashtag of all time. Why it matters: It’s as close to ‘Vote or Die’ that we’ll get this year, and it’s your civic duty to do so.

Pope on IG. It only makes sense that a pope who broke bread with the Jews and is “meh” about homosexuality would give DJ Khaled and Kim K. a run for their money. Why it matters: I’m pretty sure liking the Popes pictures makes up for the 3 commandments you broke this weekend.

Supreme court nominee. President Obama offers up his nomination for the newest pledge for the fraternity of crusty, old, affluent white men that is the Supreme Court. Why it matters: It could change the election and the history of our country. NBD.

Obama does Cuba. Obama is doing spring break big this year as he becomes the first president to catch an STD in Señor Frogs bathroom in Cuba in 88 years. Why it matters: Mostly that you can go to Cuba on vacation and some other political repercussions.

Hulk Hogan. With one jury’s decision, Hulk Hogan goes from being one of the most lucrative professional wrestlers in the game to the most lucrative porn star of all time. Why it matters: Gawker could fold and we might get less celeb porn movies.

#FakeKanyeFacts. A mix of “the most interesting man in the world” Dos Equis commercials and the greatest hits of Comic the Insult Dog as written by the biggest trolls on the Internet. Why it matters: It doesn’t, it’s just fun to make fun of Kanye.

March Madness. “My bracket is so busted” – every one of your coworkers. Monday we’ll all have withdrawals after 4 days of gambling losses, tap beer consumption and putting all responsibilities on the back burner. Why it matters: Company sponsored illegal gambling and getting beat by a girl in your bracket. Nuff said.

Adam Laroche, Father of the Year. There’s no crying in baseball but there are 14 year olds in the locker room. Laroche turned down $13 million so he could spend more time with his son. His son better be pretty awesome. Why it matters: Adam Laroche is available and is probably a better dad than yours.

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