The Masters. A tradition unlike any other, the Masters (un)officially kicks off the golf season and spring on Thursday. Why it matters. It’s the Super Bowl of golf, you know, the final level in Super Mario Brothers .. simply put, it’s a big f**cking deal for affluent, predominately white Americans. Not so hot take. Luckily for you, last year I created a guide for the Masters’ illiterate (read: females): The Lady’s Tees: A Females Guide to the Masters
Oh and this happened today:
North Carolina’s anti-LGBTQ laws. The state of North Carolina overturned city-specific (Charlotte) legislation that outlawed LGBTQ discrimination. The Governor quickly signed into law sweeping legislation that essentially allowed for LGBTQ discrimination. Why it matters. If I really have to tell you why this is an issue, you’re probably from West Virginia and your hobbies include meth and domestic abuse. Businesses are threatening to leave North Carolina and I’m pretty sure this is why their basketball team lost the Championship game. Oh, and protesters. Not so hot take. It’s 2016, take off your white hood and join the real world, North Carolina. Hmm sounds like someone I know running for President …
San Francisco/New York Maternity/Paternity Leave. San Francisco joined New York in passing precedent setting Maternity and Paternity leave laws. The San Francisco law offers the new parent leave with 100% of their salary guaranteed. Why it matters. Businesses are going to move out of San Francisco quicker than minorities in a newly gentrified neighborhood. Not so hot take. I have a few questions here. Most pressing being, do you even WANT to be home for 6 weeks with a little, crying sack of potatoes that spits up milk on you? And do you need to be married to get these benefits? Or can you just go around making sperm donations and collecting weeks of PTO?
Cruz, Sanders win. Lyin’ Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders won the Wisconsin primary Thursday, thus proving people in Wisconsin don’t really matter. Why it matters. This victory makes it THAT much harder for Trump to win the GOP candidacy outright and brings us THAT much closer to a contested convention. This also means Trump is going to bring his A game into his smear campaign.
Thursday Night Football is coming to Twitter. Not so hot take. Apparently Twitter became a live streaming/television company overnight. And how did they get the rights to football games for $10 million dollars? I’m pretty sure ESPN paid $800 billion for the MNF rights. Nothing about this makes sense. I can’t wait for this to blow up in the NFL’s face worse that Tay did for Microsoft. The internet is an ugly place and all the trolls will have war paint on for this.