If you think brunch is a meal and aren’t really sure what “white privilege” is, you call it the scaries, if you call it Sunday Funday, you probably haven’t gotten laid in 4 years and if you’re on your way to CVS to pick up Plan B you should probably call to make an STD test appointment. But whatever you call it, a Sunday afternoon plays out a lot like the last few minutes of Titanic, Rose being the weekend and you being a much less handsome Leo. Except your metaphorical death-by-hypothermia is work-week and general real world induced anxiety. Those Friday projects that “sounded like Monday problems” are the pit in your stomach (and grounds for termination.)
So Revelers, we’ve got an afternoon worth of activities that will distract you better than the bottle of Xanax calling your name. Here’s our cure for that Ccase of the Sunday’s as brought to you by the Internet:
1) The Mid-Summer Classic is coming up this week, and your 10 year old cousin shouldn’t be the only person to get excited about it. Todd Frazier’s final round of the 2015 Home Run Derby last year was electric. The new Derby format is arguably the most exciting thing to happen to baseball not called PEDs.
2) Oh and just when you thought you were the most pathetic person on earth, I give you Manny Being Manny.
3) Sunday’s are best suited for ordering Seamless and watching movies you’ve seen at least 45 times on TBS. This week’s feature presentation: Forrest Gump. We’ve got you covered with all of the best scenes from the movie that still has you wondering what Jenny died of.
“Your mama sure does care about your schoolin.”
“Just the local idiot.”
[Insert cliche love scene for the ladies] “I’m not a smart man but I know what love is.”
4) When you’re tired of Humans of New York and the Fat Jew, take a time machine into the future.
5) Did I mention, the best site on the interwebs had some awesome new stuff you might have missed this week? If you want to feel great about your family, look no further than Noble’s piece about her dad marrying a 28 year old (she’s 27) and her survival guide for the non-traditional fam.
7) Only two months until NFL Sundays. But in the meantime, I’m pretty sure this Madden glitch catch is a one way ticket to a tryout with NFL teams (and the quickest way of destroying all hopes and dreams by getting cut.)
8) Or just play Pokemon Go like the rest of the world …
9) And just when you think it can’t get much worse, just remember the hedge fund manager who had a Wolf of Wall Street party and lost his job last week … Just kidding, his life is still a lot better than yours.
Happy Sunday Revelers.