In a time of such change and cultural and societal upheaval there are so many lingering questions. When will all lives truly matter? Will there be peace in the Middle East? And most importantly, cargo pants or nah? There is a distinct societal rift between the haves (pockets) and have nots (pockets). It’s a story as old as time, a Hatfields and McCoys of the modern age. What started as a petty beef between frat stars and GDI’s has infiltrated the very fabric of our society and threatens to shake it to its core. So fulfill your civic duty and make your voice heard this November, er, August 5th by taking a stance: are you team cargo shorts or team “nah”?
Comment ⤵️ or tweet us @entryrevel. Our team tackles this pressing issue below.
TeeTime: Personally, I’m two front pockets away from only wearing bathing suits. I flirt dangerously close with the minimal generally accepted pocket count to still be considered standard American shorts. I don’t have nice enough gluts or thighs to fuck with Chubbies but have never met a J. Crew flat front, 9″ inseam short that I didn’t like. Maybe it’s a product of being a 90’s kid or respect for the armed forces, but I can’t help but associate cargos with those zip-off pant/short hybrids or GI Joe. #TeamCarNO
Rae-Kwon: In the words of Jonah Hill of ‘Superbad’, “No one’s gotten laid in cargo shorts since ‘Nam”. Cargo shorts are an eye sore. Unless you’re in middle school, or a father of four, they should be burned. NO ONE has that many items that they need upwards of six pants pockets to hold them all. Cargo shorts are the crocs of the pants world. They come in a horrendous array of colors, including army green (for the gun-holstering cargo wearer), khaki (for the barbeque-r), light green (not as into guns, but still into blending into nature), and navy (for men who enjoy blue on blue outfits). In conclusion, throw out your cargo shorts. Please.
Weebay: I’m not sure why cargo shorts got the death sentence from society but I’m sure as hell not the guy to make a stand as an Internet meme sullies my amazing fashion. I conform to fashion like a member of the Charles Manson cult. While I do have fond memories of my baggy AE camo shorts, I think a nice compromise would be skinnier cargo shorts made by some company at Pac Sun so they become stylish. Boom. Problem solved.