NFL Fans are the F*cking Worst People Ever

The damning evidence is that these loathsome wastes of oxygen are just now deciding to change the channel

The recent drop in television ratings for National Football League games has made one thing clear: the crowd of folks that the NFL used to draw, but seemingly no longer attracts, is a sh*t sandwich of human trash.

TV ratings are down 11 percent across the league on the young 2016-17 season, and while the NFL points to several factors for the drop, research by Rasmussen of self-proclaimed NFL fans reported by The Sporting News points to one main factor: discontent with NFL players protesting the United States of America’s national anthem.

What Exactly is Sh*tty

Protesting a protest doesn’t make a person a vile cesspool. As errant as the stance that NFL players shouldn’t use their stage to communicate their feelings on any matter is, that can be classified under classic bigotry. Coerced participation in state worship is actually contrary to the principles of a free society, but not understanding that could be explained by simple ignorance.

The action isn’t a problem. In a vacuum, a TV ratings drop for the NFL is a positive thing. The NFL has had it coming for decades. The issues are the motivation for the action and the timing of the action.

The damning evidence is that these loathsome wastes of oxygen are just now deciding to change the channel, after the NFL has given them several reasons to do so already over previous years.

The boycott should have started years ago

Players convicted for domestic violence being rewarded with free agent contracts? No problem. The NFL withholding information from its players regarding the risk of neurological disease? Gross indifference. Settling the concussion lawsuits for pennies in exchange for the silence of the victims? Couldn’t care any less. Using its political power to interfere with independent studies of the long-term effects of playing football? Not even on the radar.

As if that shouldn’t have been enough, the NFL held onto its 501c3 status for decades despite billions in profits and years after Major League Baseball, the National Basketball Association and the National Hockey League voluntarily gave theirs up.

Commissioner Roger Goodell has extended his powers beyond what the collective bargaining agreement between the league and the players have granted him on multiple occasions, setting dangerous legal precedents for workers’ rights litigation.

We’ve seen example after example of misogyny and racism that is unchallenged in the league, but none of these things moved any of these people who have now hit the clicker to do so in the past.

What boycotting the NFL now says

The message sent is pretty clear: we don’t care if you lie to people, whitewash your dirty deeds, fail to discipline players who would lose such high-profile jobs in other industries, treat ethnic minorities and women like sh*t, meddle with our medical research, use tax law to effectively subsidize your product, and live like you’re above the laws that have governed labor relations for decades. We’ll overlook all of that in the interest of watching our football.

But if some of your players step out of the lines we have drawn for them and challenge our delusions of American exceptionalism, we’re taking our televisions and going home. We don’t expect the NFL to be the morality police on literally any other issue but this one, and you had better take that responsibility seriously.

These people don’t possess the moral high ground that their actions purport. Because of their motivation and the timing, their imagined moral superiority is a polished turd.


Voted No. 8 in The 14 Least Masterful Masters of the Universe, which means I am a more masterful master than King Hiss, who is No. 11. If you're more masterful than a king, you're really running the show, bishes.
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