With the holidays quickly approaching, I will soon be bombarded with “optional” family time where my father and his 28-year-old bride boast about the cheapest hotel that they were able to stay in on their latest trip to the shittiest parts of America. Where the keyword “optional” is synonymous with SEC football programs giving their players autonomy in choosing whether to show up for those hours over the NCAA legal allotment.
With family time also on the horizon for you, dear reader, you undoubtedly have a Trump supporter in your household that you will inevitably be seated next to for Thanksgiving dinner. But like, we got you! This is your all-in-one guide on how to diplomatically learn to deal with those assholes in your lives that are unavoidable.
Acknowledge that they are not you.
Everyone grows up in different times, areas of the country, and educational systems; complete with a unique set of parents. Yes, even your siblings have a separate set of life experiences than you do. Is that an excuse to be close-minded and a bigot? No, absolutely not. But any good discussion starts with attempting to empathize with the opposing side, and recognizing that everyone formed different schemas will give you better sleep at night.
Know that the world is not entirely black and white; embrace the gray zone.
When arguing, it’s so much more convenient to take one side and drive your points so far into the ground the earth’s core becomes a little concerned about its personal safe space. Just because it’s easier, doesn’t mean it’s the most effective. Whatever you decide to start the next great debate on, just please make sure that you come to the table educated from a more reputable source than Farm News Daily.
Come from a place of compassion.
Whether you’re a member of #pantsuitnation or the KKK, the agenda that you are trying to push is much more likely to succeed if you don’t bust through the door in steel toe boots and scream, “I’M RIGHT AND YOU’RE WRONG MOTHAFUCKASSSS!” If you think you’re in the right, there’s a good chance that the opposing human possessing an opinion also feels the same. Coming from a place of understanding and compromise leads to more change than any inflammatory tweet ever could.
Be Okay Knowing that You’re Right, And Uncle Jim Never Will Be.
There comes a certain point in every curmudgeonly old white man’s life where nothing you say, prove, or do will change their mind on a social/political issue. For most, it begins right around age 27. Is that human classified as an asshole for thinking that your gay brother shouldn’t be able to get married. Yes. 10000%. But nothing you say is going to change that. If you don’t agree with what they do- that’s okay! You put forth your best foot to come from a place of love and say how you feel, and then move on. Because sanity is worth more than the maybe 10 more years of hate that will come from that particular individual before they are murdered in their sleep by a fed-up orderly in that shitty nursing home you put them in. Karma.
Basically, revelers, just don’t be an asshole.