Welcome back! We made it. The holidays are over, and if you’re reading this, you probably didn’t strangle a family member to death over the holiday meal. If you did, well then I’m glad your wasting your 30 minutes of internet time at the federal penitentiary by reading this post, and you probably need it more than most. While you were at your hippy aunt’s house, you missed some of what happened on this internet this week (your aunt thinks the government is listening, and definitely doesn’t have internet).
Your time is money, free time is almost over and Big Carl from C block needs a back rub, so let’s get into it.
Trevor Bauer got GOT
Twitter is a beautiful place. Athletes can jump on there whenever they want and show us that they’re just like us! For the athletes, this is a gift and a curse. On one hand you’re able to connect with your fans and the common folk in a way that has never been seen before in this generation. On the other hand, you’re opening yourself up to be made a fool/get dick jokes made at you all day. Like I said, a gift and a curse. Trevor Bauer here became a victim of the latter earlier this week. Poor guy was just looking for a chemist, and ended up with DMs full of bodily fluids. Poor guy. Maybe try LinkedIn next time.
It’s Dark and the Pope Is Young
HBO’s new Young Pope is causing quite a stir. Dare I say more of a stir than our own “Cool Pope.” It’s hard to outdo a guy that goes against thousands of years of tradition and says that we should wear condoms to keep AIDS to a minimum. The Young Pope is poised to take the social media world by storm. It started as its own Twitter moment this week, and if you have not had a chance to take a look, do yourself a favor. Get ready, Young Pope is a meme machine that is prepped to break into the big time as soon as this show debuts.
Oh, Mariah, No.
I didn’t watch this performance live, because I hate New Years Eve. It’s a celebration of us all being one year closer to death. Pretty grim if you really think about it. Apparently Mariah Carey’s washed up ass is out there flaunting herself all over New Year’s Eve. Well she went out there in some kind of horrible, amorphous bodysuit. Well Instagram user Paulo saw some similarities between Mariah and George Costanza, and now it’s all I can see when I close my eyes. Who wore it better? I’ll let you be the judge.
I hope you all enjoyed this week’s edition of what you missed online while you were coming down from your NYE bender. Did I miss something? Let me know on Twitter, and there might be a reward involved*.
*There will be no reward. Don’t get your hopes up.