Welcome everyone to a new recurring series titled “Field Awareness.” Now you may be asking “what the hell is Field Awareness and why should I care,” well here’s how I define it. Field Awareness is basically the understanding or lack thereof understanding a situation that you or someone else is in. What’s great about Field Awareness is that I will be grading and evaluating some of the more ridiculous and hilarious lack of Field Awareness situations for your enjoyment while also applauding those who grade high on the Field Awareness chart and are able to swerve through situations swimmingly.
I’m going to kick this off with 1 older example to set the tone and then a recent example as well. Let’s dance.
Let’s jump back to Summer 2016 and our good friend(?) the German Soccer Coach Joachim Low who has a, uh, problem scratching/sniffing the stanky parts of his body and smelling them for all the camera to see.
Let’s get to the bottom of this.
- Coachy here must think he is Slick Rick with the scratch & sniff maneuver while believing it is perfectly normal for the Head Coach of the German National Team to act this way on the sidelines. I wouldn’t mind this, but I save this kinda action behind closed doors.
- Coachy is doing his due diligence to make sure that his Gold Bond powder and Axe Deodorant is getting him through his most strenuous times. Doing us all a favor, right? Gotta make sure his players are using the best? Eh, maybe not.
- And my favorite analysis, Coachy here really loves the smell of his grundle, ass crack and pit sweat and wants the whole word to know about it. No shame at all. I think somewhere it says that girls are more attracted to the natural smell of a man? I could totally be wrong so don’t @ me.
Field Awareness Score (0 being god-awful and 10 being able to dodge bullets like the matrix): I’ll give him a 3 because this isn’t his first rodeo getting caught scratching & sniffing by the cameras. Although on the flipside, I am very much uncultured in the ways of Germans so pardon me if this is a sign of power or upmost confidence. In that case, 10/10 Coachy.
Let’s move over to a more recent case and kinda the opposite of our friend Coachy over in Germany. My Women Crush Everyday Nicki Minaj and Rapper Meek Mill have ended their 2 year relationship within the past week. This situation is a case of high Field Awareness from just a single Tweet.
To confirm, yes I am single. Focusing on my work & looking forward to sharing it with you guys really soon. Have a blessed New Year. Love u🎀
— NICKI MINAJ (@NICKIMINAJ) January 5, 2017
Let’s break this down:
Nicki is making it clear to all her fans and stalkers that she is indeed single and ended the relationship with Meek Mill. Classic PR work. Nothing really to see here. But here is my theory and how she is excelling in Field Awareness, Drake and J-Lo haven’t stopped cuddling for the last 2 weeks so maybe she wants people to start spreading rumors about the 2 of them making a comeback? We all remember this, right?
This makes you think a bit. I think Nicki is genius for this one, getting ahead of the story as some may call it.
Field Awareness Score (0 being god-awful and 10 being able to dodge bullets like the matrix): I’m giving Nicki here a 7.5. She’s very aware of how the pop culture media is going to spin this, Drake hasn’t not been in headlines for years and the two of them have been connected for a long time. Nicki could also be using this as #Content for her new album that may or may not be even done. Very well executed on her part.