Hi, my name is Tyler and I have a $8,146.84 in debt. A credit card balance to be exact.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let me explain the sitch before my mom Western Union’s nine large to me (a few hundred extra to “make sure I’m eating”), because “what’s Venmo?”
I made a large purchase in November 2016. Like the largest purchase I’ve ever made ever. I’ll give you a hint: it’s small, it’s shiny and it’ll cost me half of my blog fortune if I don’t play my cards right. And I put a portion (#humblebrag) of it on this credit card.
I opened a new 12 month interest-free credit card (no, for the 10th time I didn’t get the Iron Man of credit cards, the Chase Sapphire Reserve, and its like 600,000,000 miles.) I like to pay my airline fares, please and thank you.
Its’s called stimulating the economy. Try it.
So I got this. Nope, not even the Jennifer Garner card. Sue me. But I did get some “miles.”
I have roughly 8 months to pay off said debt while paying my other bills, having a fiancée who is a student and did I mention I live in the second most expensive city in the United States?
So let’s talk strategy …
Like any god-fearing millennial I am going to throw things against the wall and see what sticks. First up:
- The most cliche, played out, Danny Tanner tidbit of personal finance 101: stop buying coffee. If one more Tim Ferriss dick-riding disciple tells me to do this on LinkedIn, I am going to pay a Russian hacker to Rick Roll that entire damn platform. But I’m not doing it for them, I’m doing it for you (and mostly myself so I get out from under this life crushing debt).
- Number two is a 21-year-old “life coach” favorite: bring your own lunch. I haven’t brought lunch since my mom denied me Lunchables as an overweight 5th grader who had no business mainlining that much sodium. But I digress. I’ll trade the $15 chicken cutlet sandwiches for a more blue collar, brown bag variety.
- Other things I’ll probably try: cancel all the dumb subscriptions I buy, take money from my 401k (?), sell shit in my closet, decide if I should I get rid of my car, find out if insurance fraud worth it, try every god damn free thing I can get (think those AOL dial-up free minute CD’s still work?) etc.
Follow my journey on SnapChat and Instagram as I resist temptation, fight hobos for loose change and give up my favorite past time: shoe shines.
Oh and let me know if you have any ideas for ways to save/make money. Note: I’m not above anything.
How can you say “NO” to that face?