UNC Wins NCAA Basketball Championship

"Ok come on Tommy, relax. Just because your bets didn't come through doesn't mean the game was that bad, how awful could it really have been?" I'm glad you asked, allow me to demonstrate just how bad this game was the best way I know how: with stats and tweets.

“The ball is tipped, refs call a foul, you’re running for your life, chasing after air balls.” That right there friends pretty much sums up how the NCAA Championship game between Gonzaga and UNC went. I wish I could set this blog to the tune of Luther Vandross’ (too soon) actual song, but that parody feels more authentic.

 

Now, no championship game will pass the 2011 game between UCONN and Butler as the worst basketball championship of all time, but I’ll be damned if this game didn’t do everything it could to dethrone the kings. For those who didn’t watch (and I applaud you), the University of North Carolina won its sixth title in school history of Gonzaga last night 71-65 . The game was, in a word, abysmal. To quote Dave Chapelle’s Rick James, “I wish I had more hands, so I could give [this game] four thumbs down!”

 

“Ok come on Tommy, relax. Just because your bets didn’t come through doesn’t mean the game was that bad, how awful could it really have been?” I’m glad you asked, allow me to demonstrate just how bad this game was the best way I know how: with stats and tweets.

 

Fouls:

I’m getting this one out of the way early. I know, I know, everyone hates the guy who rags on the refs, but it wasn’t just me. Twitter was on fire with people burying these referees.

The refs COMPLETELY dominated this game. Nobody was allowed to rebound or go for a loose ball, and hand checks might as well have been Class A felonies. 13 fouls in 5:40 to start the second half and 44 fouls combined by the end of the game. No, you did not misread that. 44 fouls in one game. That comes out to 1.1 fouls a minute. Any time you’re averaging multiple fouls a minute, you’re doing something wrong. But hey, each team had 22 fouls, so at least the refs were consistent, right?

 

Free Throw Shooting

 

The over/under line was set at 155.5. I looked at it before the game and said, “wow that’s way too high,” then I guess blacked out for a second and ended up betting it anyway. The game started slow, but I convinced myself if I can get a streak and some made free throws then we’ll be all set.

 

That didn’t happen. The refs were doing everything they possibly could to get both teams to the line, but neither could capitalize. Gonzaga went 17/26 (65.4%) from the line and UNC went 15/26 (57.7%). A total of 20 points between the two left out on the floor in a game that ended with 136 points. I know it’s unrealistic to ask for 100% FT shooting, but add those 20 free throws to the total and…

 

UNC 3 Point Shooting

This may go down as one of the most stunning stats that a National Champion ever has. UNC shot 4/27 (14.8%) from behind the arc. Again, you read that right. Four made three pointers out of twenty-seven attempted. If you gave me 27 half-court shots I’m pretty sure I’d make four of them. In a game that has become so dominated by three point shooting in recent years, a whopping total of 12 points came from 3-pointers for the best team in college basketball. Wow, what a game!

 

After tonight, I’m pretty okay with putting the college basketball season to bed. It was a weird year filled with minor upsets that I’d like to store away in the attic of my mind for the next few years. The only silver lining from this tournament was that my I picked UNC in my rational bracket to win it all, so that was cool…I guess… Congratulations to UNC and any Tar Heel readers we have here at Entry Revel. For the rest of us, get excited, NHL and NBA playoffs are a stone’s throw away.

 

PS – The real winner tonight? The Office. HUGE night for Michael Scott gifs.

 

PPS – something, something, “the ceiling is the roof.” There, there’s the joke, everybody leave me alone.

Categories
The Office Sports Guy

SAT Score: 1850 - 640, 610, 600. My counselor said she'd never seen someone, "so well-rounded." Favorite Winter Olympic Sport: 1.) Curling 1A.) Biathlon. Both started ironically and have grown to genuine love. Celebrity to grab drinks with: Jesus. Nobody is better at mixing in a water than that guy.
No Comment

Have something to say? Of course you do ...

LET'S TAKE THIS TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

RELATED BY

%d bloggers like this: