Hashtagology: MLB Opening Day 2017 Edition

Hashtagology - (n.) the study of hashtags used to promote professional sports teams' social media presence.

Opening Day is a special time of year. It’s the one day of year that I don’t care about how out of touch baseball is with modern day trends, nor how popular lacrosse is getting. It means that signifies the end of college basketball, the beginning of the NHL/NBA playoffs, and that summer is a throw down to second away. The smell of hot dogs and spilt Miller Lite fill your nostrils as a feeling of hope pulses through the stadium as fans think about their pitching rotation and convince themselves, “it could be worse!”

Unfortunately, the MLB is currently battling decreasing levels of popularity among America’s younger viewers. Baseball is seen as “old-fashioned,” and while that’s a delicious whiskey drink, it’s not a great adjective for a professional sports league on the decline. So, the MLB tried to reach out to its younger audience by having each team create a clever hashtag that their fans can use when they tweet about the team (even though the MLB doesn’t allow you to tweet video highlights of games and will suspend your account if you do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).

Some teams really exceeded expectations with the concept. Others…not so much. At any rate, I’ve examined and unfairly criticized the hashtags of all 30 teams and figured I would share my findings with you all. I call it, Hashtagology.

The Creative Ones

I gotta give some of these social media interns their due, some of these were pretty clever. #ThisisMyCrew for the Brewers is awesome, and #WinDanceRepeat was a solid move by Boston since they have the coolest outfield in the bigs. #ChopOn may be the best thing the Atlanta Braves do this year on or off the field, and #LonestarGrit embodies everything that is Texas. How about the balls on the A’s though huh? #RootedinOakland? May as well have said #SuckaFatOneRaidersandWarriorsYouTraiterBastards.

The Confusing Ones

Some of these hashtags were a little lost on me. For example, #WhosYourTiger. What does that even mean? I guess it’s supposed to be a who’s your daddy type of thing, but the joke totally doesn’t work. The Tigers are baseball’s version of the kid in high school who would attach themselves to jokes but never fully understood why they were funny.

Not a fan of #ThatsCub either. What’s Cub? Is Cub an adjective now? Maybe #ThatsCubBaseball or #TheCubWay would’ve worked, but just #ThatsCub? From the World Series Champs? Be better North-Siders. Same thing for the Angels. What exactly is #TheHaloWay? Finishing sub .500 with Mike Trout and Albert Pujols for like three years in a row? Hell of a precedent Scocia has established there in Anaheim.

The Procrastinators

As you look through the list, it becomes readily apparent that most of these teams just really didn’t give a shit about this.

MLB: “Hey guys, really need that hashtag by today so we can add your logo as the emoji to it.”

Twins, Astros, Nationals, Cardinals, Reds: “Oh, you guys were serious about that? Alright, uh, just throw our name after the hashtag.”

MLB: “Can you think of anything more creative?”

Phillies, Marlins, Pirates, Dodgers, Padres: “Put ‘Let’s Go’ in front of it?”

MLB: “Perfect!”

The Optimistic Ones

These two teams maybe jumped the shark a little bit. Got a little bit too ahead of themselves with this whole promotion. Case in point, the Arizona Diamondbacks win total set by Vegas is 78.5, sub .500, yet their hashtag is #OurSeason. Do you really think that if your Arizona’s front office? I’m convinced they must know something we don’t so I took that over, but still unless #OurSeason means going .500 they seem a little too confident to me.

The Yankees are the other team that probably should’ve reeled it in a bit before they submitted their hashtag. #BronxBombersAreBack is solid alliteration, but when your ace gets lit up for 7 runs by the Rays in the first game of the year, maybe you should have been a bit more reserved. Next time try #BronxBombersArenttheWorst or #BronxBombersCanHit would have been a better option.

With that, I conclude my first ever hashtagology examination. To those teams who nailed their hashtag, I tip my cap. To everyone else, try again next year. After all, the season is only a brief 162 games, it’ll be over before you know it. But for now, let’s all get mind numbingly drunk while we enjoy the game our fathers taught us to appreciate while sitting out in the sun for too long. I think we can all agree with the Seattle Mariners — #WelcomeBackBaseball.

 

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The Office Sports Guy

SAT Score: 1850 - 640, 610, 600. My counselor said she'd never seen someone, "so well-rounded." Favorite Winter Olympic Sport: 1.) Curling 1A.) Biathlon. Both started ironically and have grown to genuine love. Celebrity to grab drinks with: Jesus. Nobody is better at mixing in a water than that guy.

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