If you haven’t seen Kendrick Lamar’s latest music video, do yourself a favor. Kendrick DOES NOT disappoint.
As of this writing there are an estimated 15 million millennial shitheads posting a Snapchat story that includes a brunch they can’t afford and a new watch their parents worked really hard to give them. Somewhere else a rich kid of Instagram is elaborately plotting the douchiest picture of all time that can only be described as a cross between Dan Bilzerian’s episode of Cribs and a Winklevoss family photo.
And somewhere there is definitely an elder statesmen complaining to an OG about “those damn millennials.”
Maybe they have a point after all?
But can being a douchelord on the interwebs cost you more than your “poor” friends?
It’s been drilled into your skull to avoid doing anything Charlie Sheen enjoys and chronicling it on the internet.
But what of being a pretentious bag of dicks on the internet?
I know what you’ll say: “Tyler, I command five figures and have literally hundreds of dollars in the bank. If I drain my 401k to take a trip to Vegas to make my friends jealous, that’s my own prerogative.”
Whether you have the bankroll to back up your lifestyle or are poorer than B-Rabbit in 8 Mile and live in a fantasy world of credit card debt and shameless self-promotion, stop keeping a log of your life that “be like ooh ahh.”
Listen, hiding behind the facade of social media to create less pathetic existence is a complex for another day and another time (and likely your shrink). Putting that shit out on the internet is another matter entirely. Everyone sees it: your mom, your friends and yes, even your employer. Just because you refrain from getting your Jordan Belfort-in-the-first-scene-of-Wolf-of-Wall-Street on in your profile pic doesn’t mean you’re off Scott free.
Before you land that interview for a cushy 9-5 at your uncle’s deed transfer company you bet your ass that HR is going to creep your social media accounts. And whether it’s a violation of the policy they wrote or not, they will be judging mercilessly based on what they see. Try not to come in pegged as the trust fund type before they even get to hear you drone on about your “relevant courses” and “ability to learn quickly.” Don’t for a second think that being flashy on the interwebs is going to make you any friends among the dejected middle management types.
And if you’re already the owner of a proud corner cubicle, don’t you dare alienate yourself from your work wife and lunch buddies by sharing yachting tales from the Hamptons via Snapchat or posting selfies with Floyd Mayweather and The Money Team.
Stop trying to be something you’re not. Be happy to be a relatively successful human being living in a first world country. The only thing people hate more than people who are more successful than them are people that pretend to be more successful than them.