Snapchat is Basically the Cool Kid in High School Who Peaked too Early

Snapchat has become the quintessential cool kid in high school that everyone liked because his parents let you come over and drink wine coolers in the basement. He drove...
Snapchat

Snapchat has become the quintessential cool kid in high school that everyone liked because his parents let you come over and drink wine coolers in the basement. He drove an El Camino, got to 3rd base with your town’s Kelly Kapowski and probably said: “alright, alright, alright.”

 

Call it the Uncle Rico theory or the Buddy Garrity phenomenon, but you know how this story ends. Snapchat is holding on to its glory days. The days when dick pics were kosher, Snap streaks mattered and face swaps were mindfucking technology. It peaked too soon. 

 

You don’t have to be Mr. Wonderful to see through Snapchat’s business model. Let’s imagine for a second that Evan Spiegel was thrown into the Shark Tank, shall we?

 

Lori Grenier: How much money are you making?

Evan: Well, we lost $2 billion last quarter …

Mark Cuban: So, is there anything proprietary about your business? 

Evan: Umm, the biggest fucking company in the world just copied our idea verbatim and has a track record of curb stomping all of their competition …

Kevin O’Leary: Ok, so at least tell me it’s super useful to society …

Evan: Uhhhh, it’s used mostly for teenaged middle schoolers to face swap their genitals onto other kids faces …

Sharks: *Blank stares*

 

Listen, I’m not saying I told you so because I didn’t but Snapchat is proving to be a one-hit wonder that’s about to go the way of Chumbawumba and Tubthumping. It’s going to be cool to see on a Buzzfeed nostalgia listicles and sing at karaoke but no one wants it on their Summer ’17 mixtape. And don’t give me that shit about a “diversified portfolio” because of Spectacles. The only people who own a pair are Evan Spiegel’s mom and whatever Hadid sister the founder paid to wear them at Fyre Festival (too soon?).

 

So take from this Hindenburg of IPOs what you will: “don’t just do something because the cool kids are doing it,” “do your due diligence” or “see the writing on the wall.” But if you don’t take anything else from Snapchat being the biggest disappointment since McDonald’s discontinued the McRib, keep this in mind …

 

(Cue the sentimental 90’s music that plays in the last 30 seconds of every full house episode while Danny gives a life lesson …)

 

 

… don’t invest your money, time, career or precious dick pics for that matter in something you don’t fully believe in.

 

End rant.

Categories
Feature
19 Comments on this post.

Have something to say? Of course you do ...

  • 10 Ways To Network Like a Pro10 Ways To Network Like a Pro – Entry Revel
    16 May 2017 at 8:00 am

    […] how. Networking is all about visibility and e-death is suicide. I know you got FB, Insta, Twitter, Snapchat… wrapped around your finger—but use them like building blocks to inform your core […]

    Leave a Reply
  • importance of education
    21 May 2017 at 7:42 pm

    importance of education

    I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more…

    Leave a Reply
  • college tips
    22 May 2017 at 6:58 pm

    college tips

    Nice weblog right here! Additionally your site so much up fast! What host are you the use of? Can I am getting your affiliate link for your host? I desire my website loaded up as fast as yours lol

    Leave a Reply
  • education college
    23 May 2017 at 7:25 pm

    education college

    Everyone loves what you guys tend to be up too. This kind of clever work and reporting! Keep up the excellent works guys I’ve added you guys to my blogroll.

    Leave a Reply
  • education online courses
    24 May 2017 at 7:58 pm

    education online courses

    You can certainly see your enthusiasm in the article you write. The arena hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. Always go after your heart.

    Leave a Reply
  • career guidance
    25 May 2017 at 10:03 pm

    career guidance

    I was recommended this web site through my cousin. I am not positive whether this publish is written by him as nobody else recognise such precise about my trouble. You’re wonderful! Thank you!

    Leave a Reply
  • online job posting websites
    31 May 2017 at 6:50 am

    online job posting websites

    Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board and I find It truly helpful & it helped me out a lot. I’m hoping to give something again and help others like you aided me.

    Leave a Reply
  • financial planning help
    31 May 2017 at 11:13 pm

    financial planning help

    I am now not sure where you’re getting your info, but good topic. I must spend a while learning much more or working out more. Thank you for fantastic information I used to be in search of this information for my mission.

    Leave a Reply
  • nikon camera price
    1 June 2017 at 12:57 am

    nikon camera price

    Hi there to every one, it’s truly a pleasant for me to go to see this site, it includes helpful Information.

    Leave a Reply
  • home based business directory
    1 June 2017 at 8:31 am

    home based business directory

    I was suggested this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my problem. You are amazing! Thanks!

    Leave a Reply
  • college degrees
    1 June 2017 at 3:04 pm

    college degrees

    I want to to thank you for this very good read!! I certainly enjoyed every bit of it. I’ve got you book marked to check out new stuff you post…

    Leave a Reply
  • health advice
    1 June 2017 at 6:19 pm

    health advice

    It’s very effortless to find out any topic on web as compared to textbooks, as I found this post at this website.

    Leave a Reply
  • electronics online shopping
    2 June 2017 at 7:31 am

    electronics online shopping

    Normally I do not read article on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very compelled me to check out and do it! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thank you, very nice article.|

    Leave a Reply
  • how to invest
    2 June 2017 at 9:11 am

    how to invest

    We are a gaggle of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community. Your web site provided us with valuable info to work on. You’ve performed an impressive activity and our whole group will probably be grateful to you.

    Leave a Reply
  • small business website
    3 June 2017 at 2:57 am

    small business website

    Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share. Many thanks!

    Leave a Reply
  • where can i buy gold
    3 June 2017 at 4:40 pm

    where can i buy gold

    Hi just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.

    Leave a Reply
  • small business financing
    5 June 2017 at 10:07 am

    small business financing

    My brother suggested I might like this website. He used to be totally right. This submit actually made my day. You cann’t believe just how so much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!

    Leave a Reply
  • phone covers
    9 June 2017 at 7:31 am

    phone covers

    I was wondering if you ever considered changing the page layout of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of…

    Leave a Reply
  • mink lashes
    14 July 2017 at 2:36 pm

    mink lashes

    Greetings! Very helpful advice within this article! It is the little changes which will make the most significant changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!

    Leave a Reply
  • LET'S TAKE THIS TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

    RELATED BY

    %d bloggers like this: