Egyptian Hijacker. Sure some guy who forgot to take his meds hijacking a plane in hopes of going to see his wife is newsworthy. But the real story here is this guy who will go down in the annals of bro history for taking a selfie with the faux-terrorist. Why it matters. This has to be the most millennial thing of all time, risking a shrapnel induced death to take a viral Instagram.
iPhone Unlocked. The U.S. government dropped its case against Apple to help unlock an iPhone that a terrorist used to play Candy Crush and plan world destruction, after it figured out how to get in. Why it matters: Crazy people who wait in lines for iPhones and doomsday preppers (read: Adam Morrison) hate shit like this so the nerds at Apple will undoubtedly make it harder to crack an iPhone than it is to figure out how to access iCloud. Not so hot take: How the fuck did it take the U.S. government this long to hack the phone? Did they send it to the Manitowac County Sheriff’s office? Your average teenage Asian kid could hack into that phone quicker than you can get your C19 General Tsos delivered.
Corey Lewandowski charged with battery. Donald Trump’s campaign manager was charged with battery assault on a reporter. Why it matters: Donald Trump did his best Donald Trump by trolling the reporter on Twitter and claiming she assaulted him. He pulls the oldest card in the “abusive husband” book by asking “how do you know those bruises weren’t there before?” Your next President ladies and gentlemen.
$15 minimum wage in California. The Governor and state legislator of Cali approved a deal to increase minimum wage to $15 an hour by 2022. Why it matters: It empowers the idiots. Not so hot take: It empowers idiots.