Apparently intellectual property prenups are a thing now. Millennials are some crazy bastards, man. However, when I inevitably get married, you can bet your ASS I am getting and IP prenup signed. The lucky lady I marry is more than welcome to divorce me for my nonexistent money. These brains are the real money-maker anyway. According to the article, there are a number of pieces of IP that can be covered by your prenup; apps, screenplays, potential business ideas, software, and other shit like that. That’s where the real value is in a divorce. Say you get married and your spouse is already a millionaire. You then get divorced and get half of a million dollars, or whatever that ends up coming out to be. If your spouse is currently writing the screenplay for 8 Fast 8 Furious, then you, my friend, could be sitting on a goldmine worth at least twice that much.
This whole prenup deal got the wheels turning. I thought to myself, “AJ, you’ve got a ton of great ideas, what would you lose if you didn’t take Kanye’s advice in Gold Digger?” Well, funny you should ask. Pull up a chair, young buck, and I’ll give you a taste of what’s at stake here:
Everything’s Kosher: OK, so, how often are you out with your Orthodox Jewish friends and try to go to a restaurant that doesn’t serve Kosher food. All the time, right? So I have hired a team of Rabbis that are on call 24/7. All you need to do is take a photo with the Everything’s Kosher app, and we’ll bless your meal and Bernie is good to go to town on that Hebrew National.
SnackDown!: Looking for something a little different for dinner? Ever wish Medieval Times served tapas or small plates? Have I got a place for you. SnackDown!, is the perfect blend of dinner and a show. Tapas by world-class chefs, and a dinner show provided by the lucha libre wrestlers who are engaged in battle in the ring next to your table. Did someone say Ring Side Guac®?
Grandma Chow: Purina makes food for dogs of all shapes, sizes, and ages, so why not show some respect for our elders? Maintain granny’s strong teeth and her shiny coat with a specially formulated recipe created to keep grandma kickin’.
He Died on the Cross-Fit: I don’t discriminate against any of the religions, so for all of the good Christians out there who are trying to get that lean, shredded Jesus on the Cross look, your search ends here. Died on the Cross-Fit is your one stop shop for the lean, Galilean physique that you’ve come to expect from reading about it in Sunday School. All of the exercises include carrying a giant wooden cross through the streets of your neighborhood. Unfortunately locations will only be opening north of the Mason-Dixon, because, as we’ve learned, dragging a cross through the streets of a town like Montgomery, AL can be easily misconstrued.
That’s it for now. Any more of these and I’d be giving away my unborn kid’s college fund. At the end of the day what we’ve learned here is that nothing can come between a man and his brilliant ideas, not even the spell of true love.