Anheuser-Busch and Keurig are Making Life Awesome





Well look what we have here, ladies and gentleman.  Our favorite office companion, the Keurig, is shifting gears a bit and is teaming up with Brewer Anheuser Busch InBev (AB InBev) to make dispensing alcoholic drinks a snap. AKA – Anheuser-Busch and Keurig are Making Life Awesome again (Trump is better at these damn gimmicky slogans than I am).

Here are some of the #NerdNotes:

  • It’s a joint venture that will be focusing in the North American markets with the vision of creating a system that could make beer, spirits cocktails and mixers. Hopefully they’re better at making drinks than I am because man I make mine so inconsistent.
  • The technology used in the failed Keurig KOLD machine will be morphed with AB InBev’s brewing and packaging technology.  Meaning, taking the good from Keurig’s decent idea (that failed) and basically having AB handle the beer and packaging part.  Creating a potentially dope product.
  • There isn’t a price for the product because it isn’t produced yet and there aren’t any financial terms out between the two companies, nor do I REALLY care (yet).  But keep an eye out on the stocks if you’re into that kinda jazz.

I think this is a MUST OWN for college kids, graduates, Entry Revelers like you and I, Yuppies and the established work professional.

Now here is the real question: How the hell can we sneak one of these bad boys into your office and is it ethical to do so?  I think I need some clarity on the product, first and foremost. Is this contraption going to to look completely different that the regular Keurigs out now? If so, Houston we might have a problem, especially if your boss is the stingy type.  If not, then you might be able to keep this beautiful lifesaver right next to your desk. Pour up a nice mixed-drink at 4pm and finish reading those emails or waste time on  How about a Bloody Mary on a Friday Morning?   Maybe even offering the headhuncho a beverage and talk about a raise and or promotion, if he’s a cool cat.  I guess the other question is how much of an alcoholic stench will this machine produce?  The last thing I want is my office space smelling entirely of booze, thus potentially having Janice and Todd in the office next to you snitch and tell HR.  Then you check your email to see you have a meeting at 8am with the department. That wouldn’t be cool.

I guess it comes down to the type of work environment you have going.  If your boss is the happy hour type, you could be in business. If he’s the grumpy guy that allows no fun in the office, then I’d suggest keeping it at home.

Moreover, be on the lookout for this upcoming joint venture product. Anheuser-Busch and Keurig are making life awesome and a could be a goddamn life saver.


Just a degenerate tryna slide his way through real life