Today isn’t business as usual at the White House. As Barack Obama leaves the White House, so does a legacy of professional politicians leading our country. As Donny Politics takes the reigns, the face of our democracy is going to change forever … maybe for the worse, but hopefully for the better. Whatever your political preference, there is one thing we can agree on, Donald is a pure bred, prototypical alpha male with one thing on his mind: snappin necks and cashin checks. So what does a businessman taking office mean for young professionals everywhere? Let’s have a look shall we?
On Power Moves only
Be humble as pie they say. You’ll get to the top they say. Trump, the consummate showman never met a shameless plug he didn’t like. And he hasn’t shied away from power moves either. Telling Mexico they’ll pay for the wall? Exhibit C. Skipping a debate just for shits and gigs? Example 2.7. The list goes on and on. So maybe I should power play my way to a corner office? Stiff arm anyone who gets in my way and get off on others demise?
Unless you’re Bernie Madoff or own a Chevy dealer in Texas, hiring family and friends is frowned upon … in theory at least. I’m looking at you, large insurance firm who is always prepared for rain, if you catch my drift, that hired a VP’s son over me. Well now that you know I buy my insurance through Geico, back to the matter at hand. Trump has no problem surrounding himself with cronies and family. So is this the new norm? Is my next intern sitting across from me at the Thanksgiving dinner table?
On Sexual Harassment
Forget about Trump’s made-for-late-night-TV named “Billy Bush” tape for a second. Ok, now remember it. And don’t forget about his other forays into “locker room talk.” Unless you work at the He Man Woman Haters Club, cliche sexual harassment videos from the 90’s warn us of the perils of rubbing Jan from accounting’s shoulder for a job well done, or commenting on how Kyle “looks like a white Taye Diggs” and that you “wouldn’t mind breaking off a piece of that white chocolate.” But with the new president’s remarks going mainstream, is it cool to blindly offer back massages to interns? You find out and report back to me.
On Social Media Etiquette
Every career coach, doting helicopter mom and evangelist with a LinkedIn account wants to make sure you aren’t the Patron Saint of Spring Break ‘15 on Instagram. The PC police dictate the the 10 commandments of young professional’s social media. These include but are not limited to photoshopping all red solo cups and replacing them with bibles, delete all pictures showing more skin than the average Golden Girls episode and replacing all Tomi-Lahren-circa-2008 comments with quotes from Richard Branson. But are Donald’s Twitter fingers the new norm? Is it cool to share outward displeasure with your employer for freezing compensation? Does the 1st amendment protect you from making your CEO into crying Jordan after a bad Q1?
On Social Responsibility and Inclusiveness
Every company walks the fine line of having their new building be the fucking Keebler Elf’s workshop just to get the stamp of approval from a group of environmental activists with a cool logo and confusing acronym, and dumping arsenic directly into Flint Michigan’s supply of bottled water. And furthermore, as responsible corporate citizens, commercial ventures make diversity a pillar of their success, a foundation of their winning attitude … and a sales pitch when they are looking to move into a not-so-gentrified market. So in a world where our president can deny entire races, ethnicities and religions from enjoying the freedom and fried food that is our democracy, do we have to give a shit about this social responsibility?
On Lying on your Resume
Sure, maybe you didn’t go to Harvard, but “Good Will Hunting” is your favorite movie. And, yea, you didn’t exactly increase client engagement 74% at your last job but you did hit your high score on Candy Crush on company time. According to LinkedIn, little white lying on your CV is punishable by death in the 48 contiguous. But our new commander in chief lied about bringing jobs back to the US … and about his taxes? So why can’t I round up my GPA to the nearest whole number?
Asking all of these questions for a friend of course …