So I was perusing Twitter today while taking a shit like most men do (girls don’t poop guys, remember that) and I came across this video from the KFC of Singapore account of a new product called “The Chizza”. Let’s take a look.
— KFC_SG (@KFC_SG) February 8, 2017
Are you all puking? Because I sure am.
Let’s break this down though.
- You could be doing worse than ordering from KFC, I am not taking the moral high ground on that at all. That Double-Down sandwich and the KFC Famous Bowl hold a near and dear place to my heart.
- Would you trust pizza sauce from a fried chicken chain? I sure as hell do not. Yo, I don’t even buy jarred sauce from the supermarket. Maybe that’s the true Sicilian in me where I make my own sauce all the time but still.
- What in the hell is “Sliced Chicken Ham” and why is it going on this dish. Why not just say ham? Also, I am not a fan of ham on pizza, I think it’s trashy. Does ham and chicken go well together anyways? Can’t say I’ve used them together..
- To make matters even worse, they fucking put pineapple chunks on it! WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON DOING THAT! Pineapples are maybe the worst item of food you can put on a pizza. Lemme guess, y’all are gonna dip this in ranch too? Fucking savages.
- Lastly, they squirt some fucking cheese-whizz on top before they bake it like it’s fucking cheesesteak from Philly. Not to say I don’t enjoy that, but I firmly believe it should stay on the streets of Philly and not in KFC kitchens around the globe
I hope this is a PSA to all that you do not purchase this product, if it ever makes it over to the USofA. I also hope this serves as a PSA to not order pizza with pineapples on it; if you do, then we cannot be pals.
Hey Trump, make sure it doesn’t, k thnx dude.